Episode 160 Discussion: 3rd Jan 2013

Padmini Versus Radhaji - Defunct Marriage exposed and Remarriage Encouraged

Episode 160 Discussion: 3rd Jan 2013

Events of the episode

1. Continuing efforts from Trishna and Radhaji to convince Padmini to reconsider "Punar Vivaah" with Shamsher.  From Channel perspective this becomes a Social Message as well for older woman not to think of their lives as ended with no hope.
2. Trishna and Radha characters development...An insight into what they feel around their relationships. This would not have been possible with continued focus on Rishbala due to TRP garnering.

Note: Re VD's vacation influencing the plotlines

All reviewers here to make it more meaningful starting from today until VD's return from his vacation, please heed to this advice from your peers and keep it in mind while reviewing the episode. Else it would be plain rona-dhona in the ED thread.

By Soundarya

Bit of a filler episode today. I guess we will have to put up with these kind of episodes till the time VD is back from his wedding celebrations. And Padmini-Shamsher's marriage is the track that is going to dominate...which is just as well because there are so many people involved...biggest game changer in the scenario being Balraj, who is being fed to us in small bits. All those comments about what a boring, comic character he is etc etc will  be proven wrong once he knows the truth of his 'presumed dead' family.  Imagine the fury he will unleash, imagine the blow to his ego when he realises not only is his family alive, but his wife is on her way to marry Malik. 

By SD 

VD's vacation has started. And starting today, all his scenes will be filler material except for few scenes which had been planned for underlying track of "Lets leave everything behind after fixing everything". This includes that planning for new house and MU fight between MB and RK on account of Dips. So this was a ploy used to cover some of the absence during his vacation. 

For ex: Today's MB's rona-dhona and him teasing her is another filler for today. We could have as well not been presented with the scene. But what will happen to Rishbala and VD bhakth. There would be "Darshan Do Ghanshyam Nath Mori Ankhiyan Pyasi Re..."

And the way MEIEJ is constructed, every character is human and grey. So there is a lot of potential for each character to be good and bad. Its very much human. 

Episode Indepth review

Thanks to VD vacation, we are now getting character explorations into

• Trishna
• Padmini (Re her defunct marriage)
• Radhaji

In Mid Sep we had discussed how these three women's stories needed to be developed. Those interested can read the link here

META Pyromaniac Padmini v Roaring Radha!!

http://www.india-forums.com/forum_posts.asp?TID=3196337

Padmini

We had discussed at length why Padmini was carrying the baggage of her defunct marriage. How could she keep a vrath for a killer husband like Balraj and yet not think of what she was coming across when living with Shamsher and not doing something about it. She was coming across as a Moocher...yes moocher no less. Yes this was mainly raised by Peach, who slighty went off topic as just not to see her as a mother but her character that comes out with all the symbols she wore when literally there was no functional husband around her.

Peach, Are you happy that they are addressing this today ?

My review from today's episode

We can understand why Trishna inspite of her biting words continues to hold her place in Shamsher, Padmini and Madhu's heart, because she does have some goodness in her.

I was exchanging with Soundarya my thoughts about Trishna's yes to Balraj yesterday. Turned out right.

>>>>To me her keeping quiet now makes perfect sense. why ? No matter what Balraj should not see Padmini. Isn't it the survival reason why Shamsher staged the drama of her being killed. Else Balraj would never have stopped hunting them down. So she had split second decision to make ...by agreeing to do the cinema, she will have Balraj leave before either of them see each other. Now if there was  no Padmini-Shamsher marriage drama going on, logically she should be disclosing that Balraj is back in town. But she may again decide to let it slide as the marriage will not happen if the Balraj news is out. But yes, why No ONE is asking, how can Padmini marry a Shamsher without divorcing Balraj. Fine by law their marriage is non-functional...but how about ritualistic removal of her mangalsutra and sindhoor that Padmini is wearing in the name of Balraj. Shouldn't the woman at least look devoid with all marriage symbols from her previous marriage ? Questions galore my mind. But then I am willing to wait.

@bold

And today this was addressed by Radhaji to Padmini.

Trishna

Trishna always loved Shamsher and Padmini. Because she built relationships around them as father and mother. They are not her natural father and mother. Her biological father was a rakshas and he had her mother killed. So why would she not like if these two good people get bonded and become her parents never to part. Its very human reason and not just a plot clunk by CVs when they showed that although she disapproves and cannot stand Rishbala jodi, she still could see something good for her and her parents out of the proposal.

And the way Trishna protected her mother, by not allowing Balraj to see her was commendable. Yes, wasn't Padmini's death staged by Shamsher to divert Balraj. So she continued on with the same cover-up. Poor girl, she had to say yes to act in BSC's film for the same.

Concept of Remarriage explained (would be tauted as social message by Colors)

We can see that not all widows are fully capable of living their lives independently. They look forward to some kind of support. Most are supported by families around them, some like Radhaji chose to remarry...well she belonged to high-society, so she did not have any problem. But Padmini her background had not been an educated one. She was a poor woman from Mutihari married to Balraj to beget a male-child...another rampant social evil (gender inequality). From a male dominated society, Padmini had also cowering and binding principles that cloud her sense of independence to think of anything of herself. However, the good thing about Padmini was she chose to heed to Daiima's advice and run away from Balraj's feudal control along with her step daughter, while Madhu was still in her womb. She reached Mumbai and since then dedicated her life to raising her daughters with the help of her friend Roma and her brother Shamsher Malik.

So they made Radhaji as the spokeswoman to explain the same to Padmini, how she has the right to think about herself and her marital happiness. They made Radhaji to advise Padmini that she need not carry the baggage of her previous marriage and make a new beginning when it holds so much promise.

An aside on Roma

Roma was shown as an alcoholic junior artist. She kept all her dreams alive through Trishna and called her a Heroine.Then her story and her was pretty much dumped. We see her being revived in the Sangeet ceremony as per today's SBS /E24 clips.

Originally posted by applenpeaches

SD, I hope the CVs would show why Pads have been wearing the mangalsutra and sindoor all these years for Ballu. Was it bcos of society or bcos of her personal beliefs? For a sensible woman she has been inflicting misery on herself all these years wearing them? Why? Perhaps we would get the answers to these questions in the coming episodes (if they arent already answered in today's).

A question to all: Does Radha think that RK has accepted Radha-Kukku remarriage? RK initiating Pads-Malik remarriage should have suggested to Radha that her son's non-acceptance of his mother's marriage is bcos of Kukku Bhatia. RK would have accepted his mother's remarriage had it been to someone other that Kuku Bhatia. 

Pads ran away from Ballu bcos of Madhu. RK and Ballu met bcos of Madhu. Soon things will come a full circle with Pads-Ballu meeting. It would be interesting to see how the story goes from there. Will RK have the much desired union with Madhu? Is his longing for the 7-phere marriage and yearning for complete possession of Madhu, the hurdles, the frustrations, the pain, the dissatisfaction, what is depicted in his Hum Hai Deewane song? 

Peach,

1) Padmini and her defunct marriage

I answered all those questions for you in the META thread when we met.  You wan't me to answer again. No way !!! Go back to read. 

And actually, I did answer this in my episode take today.

>>>But Padmini her background had not been an educated one. She was a poor woman from Mutihari married to Balraj to beget a male-child...another rampant social evil (gender inequality). From a male dominated society, Padmini had also cowering and binding principles that cloud her sense of independence to think of anything of herself. However, the good thing about Padmini was she chose to heed to Daiima's advice and run away from Balraj's feudal control along with her step daughter, while Madhu was still in her womb. She reached Mumbai and since then dedicated her life to raising her daughters with the help of her friend Roma and her brother Shamsher Malik.

You should have seen Balika Vadhu. Anandi inspite of being educated, how she was unwilling to remove all the symbols of her marriage to Jagya and get divorce and get remarried. She was forced to let go of all these things by her Daadimaa (Granny) to beat the sense into her...making the show a lesson to society...how the old woman is advising the younger woman to stop wallowing in pain and just embrace new life. That got Colors HIGH TRPs. So part of Padmini's story gets cue from there and part from the fact that her story was kept low so that later it is addressed again in this manner.

The end result is that the channel in the name of Fiction programming is catering to masses what they want to see. And Peach, trust me...the Northern India is far more discriminated than women in down south. A North Indian woman and a South Indian woman does not think alike. I have seen this first rate with my friends and both my friends (one Punjabi and other a Pahari from Uttaranchal) are survivors and fighters. I saw them put up fight with including their mothers to question every convention and yet reserving the emotional bonds of every relation. But deep down it is their blood..the reticence of centuries...so they look subdued, or look cynical or act feminists in total rebellion and then most times are realists and act practically. I see them as stronger than me, much more resilient.

So slow teaching works when catering to masses. You cannot show the TV show as if catering to University students. Even if women like watching progressive woman shows, do you think they will not fear what her husband will think of her when she is watching that show or her saas thinks of when she enjoys progressive woman shows. Sometimes pretence is also escape for them.

2) RK-Radha over Radha remarriage...so far the mother and son have not talked. We are only hearing what mother has to say when she spoke to Madhu. And likewise what RK said to Madhu (without giving her any chance to ask back). So we the viewers really do not know WHAT WENT WRONG THERE ? Its only hear-say. We can expect full revelation some day when CVs choose to play that track.

3) yes, 7 phera marriage is the answer to Rishabh's own mock-marriage act and all his yearning depicted in Hum Deewane Song. With 4 phera marriage he got the rights to be Madhu's husband as wife in legal sense...yeah..the Hindu act will not question whether it was 4 phera or 7 phera. She is his wife because he married her in front people.That's valid enough. With a 7 phera marriage, RK wants to be blessed by Gods in beating the UNLUCKY thing tagged by himself and The Curse added by Trishna.

By MarathiMulgi and responded by SD

Originally posted by MarathiMulgi

Hmmm. Every one seems to agree that yesterday Madhu-Radha scene was precursor for today's Radha-Padmini scene

But do you know what I think, who would have been the right person for Padmini to have this conversation?

Not Radha but Roma. What better way to have Roma re-enter this serial. Who better to understand Padmini (apart from Malik i.e.) than Roma. It is Roma who has been witness for all these 20 years, who has seen Padmini-Malik interactions, who could better feel and understand the nuances of their relationship, who might have on some level always nurtured a wish for Padmini as her bhabhi.

Granted she is never married but how does that matter? 

CV should have handled this in a completely different way when everyone was expecting Radha to be the ideal choice for this. That would have made it special.

Keeping it unexpected and unconventional need not happen only for RK and Madhu in this serial.!!!

Don't ya think?

MM,

I like that they brought Radha to talk about this. Because it adds strength from societal sanction that it is OKAY to get remarried. Padmini is all TRADITIONAL coming from rural backdrop. She does not have the sophisticated mind to leave traditiions if not prodded by OVERRIDING Emotions.

So Radha is that rationale.

And Roma is a bad example from the point of view of social sanction. She is unmarried and will not know what it means to do away with old marriage and accept a second man as her partner.

But yes, Roma would have been excellent as a Padmini's FRIEND to share and advise her something on emotional level. And she would have been such a bridge between her brother and Padmini. But then again question would arise, why for so many years the FRIEND in Roma never saw that her brother and Padmini love each other.  Sometimes near ones take everything for granted. It takes an OUTSIDER to PUT everything in perspective.

Now when Shamsher leaves everything, Padmini will have her emotions taking control of her. Because Padmini respects traditions, but she is also an emotional person. That may make her set aside everything rationally and just listen to her heart.

Others Reviews

By Zorica

Here's what I saw:

Trishna-Padmini: Finally we see Trishna know to think maturely.

Radha-Padmini: Excellent dialogue and excellent acting. Finally Radha did something selfless (in fact, it is not totally selfless - it is for her son).

(digression: It seems to me that Radha has no good opinion of herself as a person. Probably because he failed as a mother.)

Trishna-Ballu: When she released paralyzing fear, Trishna will return to his father what he did to her, I hope. She is now in a position to collect him everything!

Radha-Madhu: mother advised her daughter.

Madhu-RK: RK in his style, teasing Madhu.

Malik: Expected

@Shri, the prediction came true!

By Soundarya over TRISHNA

Trishna's character is slowly getting her balance.  Which is what I like about this serial...no character except Dipali, is completely black or white.Each character has their compulsions and therefore resultant reactions. SO Trishna is able to think through the evening and reach a sensible conclusion, based on what she thinks is the best for her family.  While she hates RK, she also concedes that what he said about her parents relationship made sense. Plus, her instinct to protect her family  overrides everything else, even her own fears about her father Balraj. She is terrified of him but is willing to face him alone rather than have him face her family. Padmini's upbringing after all.

By Zoya - Trishna and Radha as the Spokeswoman

I am happy with the way Trishna's character is being developed. 

I was actually wondering 2 or 3 days back if we will get to see that Trishna genuinely feels Malik-Pads union as necessary an voice it out or she would just go with the flow and be happy if her parents are happy. And today I got my answer.

The moment she encounters Balraj, the first thing that came to her mind was Maa and how she needs to immediately ward off Ballu before he sees Padmini. As Shri, said in her post 2 days back, Trishna values the r'ships that she forged to create a family and sometime back, that family was cracking and breaking and blamed RK and Madhu for that. But now, all of them are trying to gather themselves together and she sees hope of that happy family again. And when all this is happening, she comes face-to face with Ballu , who could potentially erase that family for good. Her first instinct is to keep everyone away from Ballu.

Pads-Trish and Madhu, all of them are strong women, fighters and survivors. Am hoping, these three would join forces,flanked by Malik and RK and become a formidable team to topple Ballu..   Anyways let's see how Trish's character progresses.

Radha-Padmini: Seems like Radha knows the entire Malik's and Chaudhary's dastaan... Radha sensibly and factually tried to tell Padmini to let go of her previous marriage and embrace Malik.  

I can't exactly exactly point out Radha's opinion on what RK thinks of remarriage- whether it's the remarriage funda itself or the person she remarried. But if it is the former, then she is actually glad that RK is crusading Pads-Malik union and she is contributing to make their effort fruitful. It can also be that the writers are just making Radha the voice of the society apart from the fact that she is of the same gen as Pads and experienced on this front too. RK-Madhu, Trish are all Pads children, so Radha is just being the outsider and rep the society.

Uff Madhu, what's with tears?. Am getting bored of RK trying to tease you for the same thing.. How many times,  can he come up with  different ways to tell the same thing. Hope kal khushi ke ansoo na bahao tum...

Precap: Are we gearing up for a filmy Pads-Malik reunion?

@Ananya: Even I am excited as to how Trishna's character is going to pan out and her r'ship with RK will bring about an interesting dimension to her character.

@RK coming out in the open re. Trish career: There are lot of factors involved. Trish might happily accept the move but will Madhu like it? When RK decided to push Trish career forward, he had told Bittuji to keep it confidential and not blurt it out to Madhu as she might take it as an ehsaan...

@Trish: Again she is a very layered character and we cannot tell that she would act only in a specific way. She is till now angry with madhu(will patch up in the coming epis) and jealous of madhu, but the moment Ballu came into the pic, she forgot all her probs with Madhu and was thinking about her welfare too. She behaved very sensibly during the Malik-Pads separation too. And she is still ambitious and loves her dreams too..Different situations and circumstances bring out different facets of her character. There is a lot to explore with her character too.

By Hima -  Padmini- Mallik's marriage track and Padmini's Remarriage being addressed.

My thoughts not exactly on the episode but,overall on the present tracks...

Loving Padmini- Mallik's marriage track...it was long awaited and much needed...initiated by who...their daamad,the very man who once tainted it-super star RK...nice closure there by cv's...Trishna and ballu's re-entry track is going great too..I am happy that we are getting to see different facets of Trishna...I remember as a child,she was shown as a dutiful daughter 

and loving big sister...In one of the earlier episodes when Pads returns to the chawl after madhu's birth,the chawl ladies offer to show Trishna something they brought for her but,she innocently refuses to go see it saying she is busy as she got a sister now and needs to take care of her...seems as she grew older her dreams and ambitions which inadvertently got shattered by madhu took precedence over her love for that little sis...With ballu's entry,the traumatic memories etched in the young mind evoked that fear again...the fear that bonded her with padmini...the fear which gave her the strength to trust and run away with her...I am excited to see what all Trishna would do to keep ballu away from her mother...the woman who gave her a new life and whom she took for granted and hurt repeatedly saying she prefers Madhu over her as she is her sautela...life is coming a full circle for them...Though Ballu is mainly after Madhu...Trishna is the one who suffered a lot and a witness to his barbaric acts...so,I wish a full on Ballu-Trishna track where she would to some extent, avenge her and her mothers suffering or would it be the other way with Trishna falling prey to ballu's manipulations and causing more troubles to Mallik's and Madhu ...I am guessing when it comes to protecting the sisters from ballu,shamsher saving Trishna and RK saving madhu would be good... 

In todays episode,it was good to see Radhaji talk to Padmini about remarriage and leaving past baggage...cv's are mixing RK's reconciliation to his mom's remarriage with pad's remarriage track...I guess though RK wouldn't consider the Bhatia's any worth,he would come to terms with his mom's remarriage by the end of this track (his sasuma's remarriage) thus mending his own relation and leaving past baggage too...I wouldn't say he would become lovey-dovey with his mom but,could just forgive her and let it go which would give him peace of mind... 

By Gurtiluv over Radhaji's Remarriage

About Radha's remarriage

Sry guys now im going to compare this to another show these thoughts have crossed my mind many times. In Punar Vivah Aarti was shown to get married only with the urge of her son. As much as Aarti wanted to she couldn't fulfill all the duties of a father like sports and winning races and such. But there the character Ansh (Aarti's son) had never met his father. Yash was the only father he would ever know. Rishab on the other hand was attached to his old father so much that he couldnt imagine another man ever fulfilling that role. So its an issue of not just why shouldnt second marriages for women be accepted by society when men's are. Since Padmini herself was Balraj's second wife but it is an issue of taking a young child's emotions and development into consideration for what is best for them. Radhaji unlike Aarti never tried to fulfill the role of a father what was Rishab was looking for (as he told Madhu). She never bothered to ask Rishab what he wanted. She never got Rishab's approval for Kukku Bhatia. She only got remarried as she herself admitted today that she was insecure of not being able to fulfill the role of a father to Rishab. It was pure insecurity. Padmini was always strong willed having the guts to runaway from a monstor like Balraj. and she was willing to raise two daughters on her own it was just good fortune that they got one in the form of  Shamsher. She still wants to live only for her daughters even if they might not be there for her any more after some time. There is no sense of insecurity for her kids but a sense insecurity for living for herself and her happiness.

Zorica - Padmini-Shamsher Relationship dynamics

Originally posted by 0-SD-0

Originally posted by zorica

Originally posted by zoya_naziya

Radha-Padmini: Seems like Radha knows the entire Malik's and Chaudhary's dastaan... Radha sensibly and factually tried to tell Padmini to let go of her previous marriage and embrace Malik.  

Zoya,

Padmini wants to marry Malik, but he must first offer her marriage! 

Zorica,

you know ...that is such an INDEPENDENT mind thinking that way. I know how deep is that. Now everyone is pressurizing Padmini to reconsider marriage with Shamsher. And yes, we know Shamsher is not proposing to Padmini because he thinks she will not like it. But then Padmini, might be just waiting for the man to ask her. How would she say a YES when the man has not even proposed to her ? What would her SELF-ESTEEM say ?  And Rishabh Kundra had already advised Shamsher NOT to LEAVE the opportunity.

Sigh the complexities of principles, emotions and ruling conventions. It is matter of principle that the man proposes to the woman which may challenge the ruling convention for the woman. Nevertheless it is the most honorable thing that a man could do for a woman whom he loves and what that woman would find respectable enough to accept. 

I have seen...I mean I am pretty sharp and unconventional, but often times I go with the flow of the general mood of the group, the power and rationale driving it and not making much of ado when someone fails on principle...but such articulation of the matter in principle in an emotional manner, in my life I have seen only in my mother. For an uneducated (not illiterate) person, she is so LUCID in principles and that too at EMOTIONAL level. She can shut down a crowd of patronising figures with her questions such as the one you posed. You know what, her sun sign is SAGITARIUS. 

Shridevi,

  

 Zorica